I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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