my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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