Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize