You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
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It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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