I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize