once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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