All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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