I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
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We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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