Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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