I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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