i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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