No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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