the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize