"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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