My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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