Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize