his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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