Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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