Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize