mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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