It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm just crazy horny about you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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