I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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