I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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