when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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