Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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