I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
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My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we're making bets on your personal life
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
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He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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