Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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