booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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