she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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