That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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