He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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