she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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