im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
wow bdsm is so cute
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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