I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
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Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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