think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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