sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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