I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize