you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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