i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i think i have herpe
just one?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
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Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
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He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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