dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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