Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She announced her abortion via fbk
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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