the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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