We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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