dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize