you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize