WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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