NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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