my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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