you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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