There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
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we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
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The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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