I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
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It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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